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Flashback Fridays: An Exclusive Speed Limit

rwest
Employee
Employee
speed2I have always wondered why the speed limit on our Corporate Campus is 18 miles per hour.  My math isn't always that great, and, initially I assumed it had something to do with a possible metric conversion or possibly some obscure city ordinance pertaining to parking lots. While there are many theories circulating, the true intent of this non-standard speed limit is primarily to support our Safety Culture by increasing awareness.  But there was a time when we had more than one speed limit, with the lower figure really only applying to one Employee. In 2007, Herb purchased a new Aston Martin DB9, and as a car enthusiast, frequently made several comments in jest to our Corporate Security Department about policies and the layout of our parking lot.  So in return, a special sign was affixed to the lower portion of the existing signs with a special restriction applying to the only known English-born luxury sports car to frequent our Headquarters parking lot.speed Just before Thanksgiving, our (then) Executive Chairman reverted back to his legal mindset and drafted a memorandum to our Directors of Corporate Security and Internal Audit proposing an investigation into exactly how these special signs found their way onto our property and outlined several “serious matters” surrounding possible issues as to what could occur.  Such legal issues as “misuse of corporate assets violating the Sarbanes-Oxley and Foreign Corrupt Practices Act, Unauthorized use of trademark, and even the corruption of Financial Statements” to the imperilment of our CEO due to the former offenses were outlined.  The memo ended with Herb imploring immediate investigation using whatever means necessary to determine the perpetrators of the alleged offense. At first, our Security Director felt that he may have taken the joke too far and upset Herb.  But when he got to the part where our Founder and Chairman even suggested using a particularly effective torture method to acquire information, he finally breathed a slight sigh of relief realizing that Herb was simply “returning the favor” of the obviously meant-to-be-funny prank.  
1 Comment
w5pda
Adventurer B
Only our favorite chain-smoking lawyer could get away with this ;-) Paul in CRP